Divorce is never an easy thing, but it can be especially complicated when there are children involved. Here are just a few tips for telling your kids that it’s over between you and your spouse.

1. Don’t Sugarcoat It

Vague metaphors will only confuse your children about what’s happening. They might not realize the seriousness of the situation, or they might jump to the wrong conclusions without you even realizing it. While you can break the news gently, you still need to be clear and concise about the fact that you and your spouse won’t be together anymore.

2. Explain How Things Are Going to Change

This is what your child will really want to know. If mom and dad are splitting up, where will they live? Will they still get to see the other parent? When are people moving out or moving away? What does this mean for their future? Even if you don’t have all of the answers, you owe it to your child to offer as many as you can.

3. Don’t Mention or Assign Fault

Don’t put any blame on yourself or your partner for the way that things ended. Even if your personal feelings on the subject are a bit more complicated, they should be kept to yourself in front of the kids. You should also be careful about saying things like, “It’s not your fault.” You might accidentally plant the idea that it is their fault.

4. Support Their Feelings

Your child might experience a whirlwind of emotions when they understand that you’re divorcing. Don’t try to suppress them. Let your child feel what they feel, and offer them unconditional love and support as they work through their own emotions during this troubling time.

These are just a few ways that you might break the news of your divorce to your children. If you need additional assistance, consider contacting a family lawyer in your area divorce lawyers in Gurnee, IL. They can help you keep things as amicable as possible as you and your spouse begin separate chapters in your lives.

In many ways people prepare for marriage from early childhood. Roles, expectations, even comprimises and sacrifices associated with marriage are learned by watching adults. Divorce is another matter.

A typical understanding of divorce, for the unitiated, would expect that each spouse takes half of everything and moves on. Fifty-fifty division of assets, however, is not the norm. Four out of five states in the United States divide property according to a principle called equitable distribution.

Oklahoma is one of the 40 equitable distribution states. A Tulsa, Oklahoma divorce attorney explained the difference between 50/50 distribution of assets and equitable distribition. Equitable means fair, but not necessarily equal, he explained.

Some divorcing couples work out between themselves how they will distribute assets. Except where there might be evidence of coersion, courts wil usually go along with an agreed settlement with regard to real and personal property.

The way courts allocate parenting obligations is typically less flexible. Statutes often stipulate financial obligations. Where one parent agrees to depart from statutory guidelines, some courts require the party accepting less than they would be owed by law to be represented by an attorney.

Yet courts are generally sympathetic with parties who ask the court to issue a divorce decree without asking the court to settle their differences. When parties do not agree on how to divide assets, courts turn to the equitable distribution doctine.

Equitable distribution in Oklahoma allows courts wide discretion to determine what is equitable, limited by statory requirements such as child support, by any prenuptial or post-nuptial agreements the spouses entered, and by the future needs of either spouse. A spouse who was a homemaker or stay-at-home parent for many years might be awarded spousal support, but the other party could satisfy the alimony obligation by taking a smaller share of the marital assets.

Many courts require that divorcing couples attempt to mediate differences about distribution of assets during a divorce. If mediation fails, the court settles the matter. In such cases, the services of a divorce attorney or family lawyer are particularly essential in navigating the process of dividing assets during divorce.

When the inevitable occurs and a couple decides they can no longer live together, a separation might be the best option until making the decision to divorce. There are several benefits that a separation can provide. It is a good idea to look at this choice before deciding if divorce is actually what both parties want.

Retaining Health Care Benefits

Generally, unless it is included in the terms of the divorce when a couple ends their marriage, health care benefits for one spouse end. This is particularly true if the benefits are in only one name. When a couple separates, they are still considered married, so the benefits could remain in place. This can be a very important aspect if the party that would be dropped in a divorce has ongoing health issues that require medical treatment.

Joint Accounts

Most married couples have joint accounts for credit, savings, and checking. If they divorce, the accounts will most certainly be closed out, and each party will be responsible for opening their own account. If they separate, the agreement will need to stipulate whether the joint accounts are to be closed or remain open. There will probably be outstanding debt, especially for credit accounts. The agreement also needs to state who is responsible for paying this debt. Will it remain as it was or change?

Time to Decide on the Best Choice

Sometimes, couples may just need time apart to decide if they actually want to divorce or work on their marriage. They may both just need a little breathing room to allow them to make the best choice. This is particularly true if one partner feels the other has been unfaithful. Whether or not they were, the spouse that feels they were wronged needs to decide if they can put this in the past or not. This is why firms such as Hackworth Law PA works with clients that decide a separation agreement tampa is the best choice.

Many times separating can be advantageous for both parties. If there are children involved, this can allow them time to adjust to their parents living apart if eventually they decide to divorce.